i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
