I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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