Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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