Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.