I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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