Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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