1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize