I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
