But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
