So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.