why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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