So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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