So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot