she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god