Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants