Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
zippers are such a cool invention
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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