Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
