So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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