I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
