Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
