Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize