Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
