i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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