the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
