She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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