I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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