yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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