I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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