yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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