the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
