god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.