I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
