and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
