Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO