nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
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I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED