i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
