Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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