her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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