the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
