This is not my ceiling
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
