Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
