She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
