then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
