Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
