it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
