I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
