omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
