That's intense
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
