I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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