And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
