wat bout pragnant strippers??
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
