lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
