2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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