I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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