I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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