Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
