dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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