census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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