So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
