I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
