ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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