it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
