we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
