ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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