I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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