you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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