watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize