how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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