omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
