I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
