Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
