is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
