I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize
