Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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