Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
