IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
