we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
