I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
