my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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